I don't want it this way!

I don't want it this way! No! I refuse to run like this. DF dropped out because of his knee, RP quit because he's him, PW woon't be running on that knee unless he never wants to run again, QS is out too. Gues what!? That means I'm Varsity! Yay huh? NO! I don't want varsity unless I win it. Theres nothing in it for me if I'm varsity by default. AHHHH! Saturday, at The Farm I'm running JV, and if I don't get the time I would have needed for varsity I'm going to ask if I can stay JV. Have the next fastest take Varsity.

How sweet it would be to WIN a spot at William and Mary and WIN a spot on Varsity. But no. Right now it's being handed to me because I'm the next on the list who can run. Hey, hopefully I'm not running where I think I am. Hopefully I'll be beat by some of the people I'm beating. Just so I can fight for it. Win it. If someone else wants to win varsity as bad as me or wants it more, I say fight me for it! I'd rather lose and not make it, trying as hard as I can then have it handed to me.

You don't no white space? You don't get no white space. Fool.

Man, I'm still sick. In fact its getting worse. I'm losing weight, I can't sleep anymore, and i barely realize I'm alive in the mornings. I was the one who never scuffed his feet and alwyas walked with his head up, eyes straight ahead. No more. I'm not sure I could pick up my feet. As for my head, meh, I'd rather people not see me like this.

Flynns out of xc now. That sucks more than you can imagine. He was my next goal, he was what I was pushing to beat. Now, he's gone. The next runner is varsity. Hah, fat chance kid. Our first race is at The Farm on Saturday. Hah, great, I hate that course. Anyway.

I just started and finished an english project that could have been done a week ago. I should think I would have learned by now. At least my mom helped me. Hell, I got to relive a lot of nice memories and learn more about my brother. Ya know? This is the second time in 3 weeks homework has been useful. What's the world comming to.

"Now, I don't want any white spaces on this collage."


~Entreri

I've got the sniffles....

Crap. I've got the "sniffles" as Justin called it when we ran last. It sucks. I spent 49$ of class by the trash can blowing my nose and the other 51% either freezing, or on fire. You have no idea how bad lemonade and orange juice burn a sore throat. Seriously, it hurts crap! Ah well.... Today, I managed to get my passion for XC back. I was thinking "I'm just gonna sit there at practice watching everyone work." But nope. Bair made me try to run. I love him for it.

We ended the distance part of our season and now we're entering intervals. He called out what we should be expecting to finish the intervals in. I knew mine would be absurdly slow seeing as I ran a crap time trial. Sure enough. 1:55 to run 400 meters. I figured since I was sick I should just go with it. Hah! I went at what I thought was a slow pace, fast enough for a 2:00 400 but slow. "...1:29, 1:30, 1:31, 1:32, 1:33 Z! "Holy God!" I thought as I crossed the line. "I was relaxing!"

I figured it was just because it was the first loop that I ran so fast and that I would slow down. "Alright Gentlemen, Le's go!" called Bair. I went out at what I thought was a little slower maybe the same and once again crossed the line in 1:33. Exactally the same time as last. To the second. I was so pleased with my self, but was afraid still, that I might slow down.

Three intervals later I was running exactally 1:33. Still to the second. In this workout the top group (varsity) was supposed to run 7 or 8 of these intervals and the lower group (JV) 5 or 6. I decided that on my 6th interval I would decide to go on or not. Finishing the 6th I was content to stop but Andy scoffed at me " What!? You've done 6, why not finish it off?" Well that settled it. I decided I was going to run the next ones all out.

Both of those intervals I was tired but I still came across in 1:34 and the last one 1:35. I had to know what running like that in a race would do to my time. Bair figured that I would be running anywhere from 18:00-18:45.

YES!! That was my goal for the end of the season, to run somewhere in the 18's. I'm so happy with my position in xc i could fly with joy.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What's more. I have no known homework tonight. Yes. Just yes.

"All along the watchtower, the princes kept the view. While all the women came and went, bare foot servants too."

Finally

Finally! A halfway decent day. It rained. All day! I love the rain. Well school sucked as usual and the football game was canceled. BUT! We ran practice at The Farm in gale force winds in the pelting rain with nothing but our running shorts and sleeveless shirts. I love it. We are the toughest team here.

Well, I'm sitting here, watching the rain, listening to Three Days Grace, completely content.


Yes.....

Help me.....

I barley(sp?) survived week 1 of school. Week 1! I don't know how I'm going to do this. How I'm going to stay sane. I have no life aside from my homework and cross country. Cross country is even beginning to disapoint me. I'm not as fast as I used to be, I lost my varsity spot because I had a horrid race, my mile which should have been a 5:30 drops to a 5:54. It's no longer satisfying to compete.

After I finished my mile second out of my class I was overwhealmed with congratulations, but I didn't care. I walked right past, unaware, clenched my fists and kicked the fence. I was pissed off that I couldn't drop 3 seconds a lap to get the time I wanted.

I wonder.... why have all of my days been bad since I noticed the swings. Now that I'm starting my second week of school I'm losing hope that there will ever be anything the more than homework and school. Heh, I better get used to it. Three more years.

At least today was some kind of a relief. A way of knowing I still had people who cared about what I thought and people who would still listen to me. It was a relief just to sink in to Alex's arms during lunch and after school. It rained too, while I was out running. I was two miles away and happened to not hear the warning alarm that told me I needed to be inside. That was a glorious run. Till I nearlny got hit by 2 cars, ran into a tree because of one of them and got some nasty cuts and then realized that the trainer wasn't there so I coulndt whirl pool.



Hehhaha... this just makes me want to break down and laugh, maybe cry, yell, maybe just go mad?


Night to any who read this....

Geeze...

Well... Today sucked too. I started my homework at 7ish. It is now ten 'o freaking clock. When I finally find homework with meaning it turns out to be wrong. I guess being an "honor" student means you are allowed no life. I'm thinking xc is pushing the boundry seeing as I don't get home till 5:30. I'm to fried to write anything.


Night to anyone who happens to come upon this.....

Heh

Well, I had a horrid day. Homework galore, Xc practice and no water, and annoying people in all of my classes. But! In that homework lookie what I found.
It's somewhat realted to how I feel.



The Lost Horse-Lui An

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said "What makes you so sure this isn't a blessing?" Some months later his horse returned bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said "What makes you so sure this isn't a disaster?" Thier household was richer by a fine horse, which the son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said "What makes you so sure this isn't a blessing?"
A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able bodied mad took his bow and went into battle. The chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other. Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

Humph

Well, seeing as my post isn't showing up... here's a copy.


Yeah.... Today was decent up until about 6 'o clock. Then I started thinking about how the human race was killing themselves and it really started to annoy me. Now I'm just in a bad mood that I'm going to have to live with all of this and theres nothing a 15 year old kid can do about it. I really want to go throw a book at some people and get things moving to start changing things. Well me being mad is pointless seeing as I can do nothing! I give up! Heh maybe tommrow will be a good day.


I hate being right.

Why did I have to be right?

Yeah.... Today was decent up until about 6 'o clock. Then I started thinking about how the human race was killing themselves and it really started to annoy me. Now I'm just in a bad mood that I'm going to have to live with all of this and theres nothing a 15 year old kid can do about it. I really want to go throw a book at some people and get things moving to start changing things. Well me being mad is pointless seeing as I can do nothing! I give up! Heh maybe tommrow will be a good day.


I hate being right.

I just noticed....

I just noticed that my posts go good day, bad day, good day and so on. I guess I'm in for a bad day. Ah well.

Night all

Concert

It's been quite a while since I've seen music I truly like in the area. I had a XC picnic before but after that I went to Fridays on the Square to see a bluesy rock band. They were absolutely amazing. It seemed to be one mind controling everything. So I'm guessing they have been playing quite a while together. I was shocked to see that they had released 18 cd's and that I had never seen anything about them locally. I guess I just wasn't looking. Anyway I'm glad to see we have good music live in the area. Seeing as I was at Danielles house I didn't blog for a few days. ~Recap~ I went to the YCTC session 2 performances last weekand and it was great to see all the session 2 kids there. I felt complete for once again. After that I took a 3 hour car ride with Hillary, Diana, and Danielle back to Danielle's house. The second we got home and I hit the bed, I fell asleep. The next day was just.....great. The 4 of us spent all day in Shepardstown and Harpers Ferry just getting back together.

Fee Day

O wow. I ran my heart out in xc today. I felt like I was going to die part of the way through. Today wasnt the best day of the summer in fact it was the worst. After getting back from running I learned that I had streatched my non existant acrh and had to go get ice. My scedule for school turned out to be absolutley horrid. I can't take any fine arts classes such as drama or music. Which by the way really pisses me off. But my counciler is amazing and hes fixing as much as he can. I still don't get my fine arts but I get Film Studies, World 2 Honors, Biology Honors and English 10 honors which will have to do. Well its 11:11 look at my luck....... I have xc tommrow so I'm off to bed.


Night all

Music

I spent the first 8 hours of today cleaning and rearanging(sp?) my room for my mom. I thought it was just cleaning as usual -it had become quite cluttered-. But when I finished we started moving my dads super expensive record player, amplifier, and speakers to my room. HAH! They are freaking amazing! I'll bet you could hear them two blocks away. That meant I got to go through all my moms old records and such. I found some really good stuff like Supertramp, all the old Beatles, The Band, Neil Young and so on. Heh this makes me happy.


Night!

Running

Today i went out to The Runners Corner to get a new pair of running shoes and some spikes. I learned that my feet had grown a size which annoyed(sp?) me because now all of my shoes don't fit.
When i was running tonight I workrd on speed and found out I was actually in decent shape. I managed to run three consistant 6:00 miles. Which makes me very happy. This is looking to be a very XC season.


Night

Heh Lucky Me

Heh lucky me. I managed to get a relatively expensive sports physical from a local clinic. Now I can run for the team and everythings gonna be ok. YAY! Well seeing as it is 1:11 in the morning and I should have been in bed about 4 hours ago I'm gonna leave.

Night Night