Mmm OCD?

Mmm... so today wasn't so great. That assembly really....wasn't that great. Because the teacher beside us was all don't talk. And all she did was glare at me, and when I made eye contact she'd glare harder. Weird... anyway, our DVD sucessfully burned, but had some major issues. Ah well. Everyones did. I was forced to go to lunch today, because I was "caught" by Mr. Knap... and then some lady I don't know, and then for the hell of it, the geometry teacher whose name I can't pronounce was like....You know....you should go to lunch. Grr....

My laptop battery is about to die, so I'm gonna try and wrap this up.

I got really annoyed with the clutter of my desktop. So I made everything fit perfectly into folders. Now all that's on my desktop is my computer, my docs, and recycle bin. Byah. I'm such a nerd. But I can find anything easily now. Mmm... okay. It just blinked.

Goodbye.

Acoustic Video

All right, so. This was one take, so it has some mistakes, I don't really care. It's good enough. This was actually written by Ben, I just love it, and I figured it out from our recording, and I think it sounds better acoustic. : D enjoy. I'll get ben to play it next time. Sound good Ben?

New Guitar!!

So, today we went to charlottesville, and I got a hair cut. No you don't get a picture of that. Although it isn't so bad. Mom took me out to 5 guys, but something was wrong with either the drink or hamburger, because it left us with upset stomachs. I got an awesome book on Jimmy Page at barnes and nobel. And last we went to the guitar shop. I played as many as I could, and decided on the one that was best, for the money. Thanks mom.

Improv Solo

My high e string...somethings wrong with it. It wouldn't bend, and I couldn't hit notes on it. I think my actions to low. So when a note is screwed up on the bottom of the fret board, that's that.

Mmm

I don't post as much anymore. And for anyone who used to rely on my posting everyday (I doubt any of you did) I'm sorry. But I just didn't feel like it, and I still don't really. Yesterday was pretty good. School was up and down most of the day. But I went home with Abby after school, and on the very last stop before her house, this person came out with a broom, and when the bus driver started to walk away, she smacked the window, covering us in soap. Then of course, the driver called the police, and I assume hell came, but we were long gone by then. We made...or tried to make 2 cakes, and she really made them, I just laughed. At one point her parents were like hey, let's go see pirates 3, and I was like ooh! I wanna see that! So we managed to go, although we didn't get the showing we were trying to. There were these really annoying kids beside us, who frequently reminded me, I was in a theatre full of people, and not on the open sea. Oh well. The movie was actually, really good I think. I was prepared for it to suck. But I think it was too long. Maybe because we didn't get out until 11. It was a good day.

Today kind of sucked. I was stuck inside all day. Well. I went outside, but only to mow. And with the sun beating down on the back of my black shirt, it wasn't very enjoyable. Not that mowing ever is. I tried to put new strings on one of my guitars today, and I ended up breaking my last high e, because that string just pisses me off. But I've got the remnants of one of my old ones on, and it still sounds okay. But I think it's an acoustic string, because it's really thick. Mmm... I'm not sure I really did anything exciting today. I wanted to call someone, but no one was home, so I couldn't really leave. Gah. I might try and call someone now, although it's getting late.

Why

Is no one awake at this god awful hour. Grr.... talking to Sean kinda made me laugh.... hah.... damnit. I'm going to take a shower, and then try to sleep again.....

night...

You Picked The Perfect Time

To leave me Mr. Bair. COME ON!!! Right when I actually need you, because this is hard, and because you say I'm missing two assingments that have grades on them. But you're gone. Gah! I'm so tired of studying. I studied all through biology. I haven't even touched Latin yet. I'm going to watch the VH-1 rock honors, and study during the commercials, then when it's over, I'll really study. But gah... I think I know those 40 bones now. I'm still screwed on the body systems. I haven't even gotten to Latin yet.... hah. Mmm...nickleback doing a cover of ZZ Top....? No thanks.
Okay... I should go. Because I'm not getting anything done.


Night.

Birthday

Not much different than any other day. Whatever. It happens. I didn't really want anything. Well I had one wish, but it was completely out of the question. Not much of a 16th birthday. I've got kind of a nasty headache. And I can't find any advil. Not like I'd take it. School pretty much sucked. We had the stupid reverse schedule. Latin was my only good class, and it was actually pretty good. But it was just one of those days. I was taken out to see Shrek the Third this afternoon, but I really really didn't want to go. So I spent the entire time texting people. I need to thank Serena for making my day a little bit brighter though.

I figure I have to wait till the weekend for it to get good. Maybe I'll do something with some people. That could be nice. I got a cell phone for my b-day although I got that awhile ago. And my grandma gave me 100$ but I had to give that up for camp. I guess today feels like any other average day, if less than average. Although it was great in the morning, at lunch, and after school. I don't know... I feel....cheated...? out of my 16th birthday. It's supposed to be something super special right? Feels like just another number to me. Maybe 16 is just corporate america. Yeah. It's just a number. Works for me.

I'm gonna go watch some Eric Clapton concert, and do homework, and IM. Just an average day.

Good night.

I'm Pretty

Tired of being lonely. And I've felt alone for the past two weeks. No one can ever do anything. : \
Gah... I don't know what to do. I can't play guitar any more. I can't play piano, and I suck anyway. Listening to music only works so long. I can't run, obviously. I can still talk to people, I can almost always talk to people. But it's not the same as being in their presence. I drove my parents and our guest out to Kline's tonight, and then went for a drive through Bridgewater. It was nice on the way back.... I got to kind of zone out, but still be focused. Apparently I wasn't focusing on the speedometer. At one point I hit 65 and I was going to 70 in a 55 zone. Whoops. Meh... still feeling lonely. My blogs not the companion it used to be. I think I'm just gonna go to bed.

Crimson

Boring day. I played guitar until it was physically impossible, and then I played piano till it was physically impossible. My guitar strings have a crimson tinge to them now, because I sliced the parts of my fingers that haven't been calloused over. When I finally couldn't play anymore, I went down and to play piano. I haven't played in a long time, and I still suck at it. But I got my Jacks Mannequin CD out and started listening to songs. And when I hit Kill The Messenger, I was like hey, I'll bet I oculd figure this out. So I did. It took me like an hour, but I'm pretty sure I have it just the way he plays it. So I'm kinda proud of that. But I can't play anymore because my fingers hurt too bad. And it hurts to type... so I'm gonna go.

Night.

Have You

Ever had one of those dreams where you're falling? Remember the feeling? I woke up like that this morning without the falling dream. Gaaaah. Well... you can IM my phone now, and it's still free. So, if you're on AIM just IM +15405608829

I Think School

Has ruined my sleep cycle. It's Saturday. I was up till like 11:30 last night. Look at what time it is now. Grr... I'm probably just going to rant. I'm really hungry... that's probably cause I haven't eaten in like 13 hours. That's not my fault though. I think I know why I woke up... hah I just remembered this. I rolled over, and I felt something jab me in the side... it was my headphones. I need a new guitar for camp this year... I just can't use mine. I found a really really nice one at the pawn shop, and I really want to get it. It's an Alvarez with a dark stained finish, and it has a real rosewood fretboard, not one of those crap ones painted to look like ebony. It's a little harder to play than the sigma martin there, but it sounds 10x better. It retails around 350 for the standards and way more for special ones, and that's without the case. I managed to get it down to 200 with a hard shell case. I don't even care how much it's supposed to cost, because it sounds better than any acoustic I've heard in a long time. It's not as good as Jakes 4000$ Larive, but it's certianly better than the average guitar. I'm sorry this is disjointed, I'm really tired, but I can't sleep anymore. I think I'll go take a shower, and then try and eat breakfast. I just felt like posting because I haven't for like 2 days.

bye

"she's pretty isn't she?"
"unfortunately."

I Can't Stay Mad Long Enough To Not Miss You

So...today pretty much sucked. Except for fourth block, and second was okay. Latin.... I'm really too tired in the morning to deal with so many excited people. Hell, I get a crack out of em...but it's too much for me. We started watching Hotel Rwanda in history. I've seen it like 3 or 4 times, so I didn't pay that much attention. I think Healy knew I was texting. I'm glad he didn't stop me. I needed to escape a little. Figures I was texting someone on the other side of VA. We had an SOL in biology. It was so easy. I was all worried. Not. I feel like I missed one, or maybe two. In film we went to Quentins house to finish filming. And ate cookies. Mmm.... right when I got back into school, my mood just dropped. And progressively went down hill. I went outside, and started burning things with a magnifying glass when I'd lost hope that anyone was going to make me feel better. I was working on burning a piece of mulch in half, when I saw an old friend come along. She can't be coming over here, I'm burning stuff like an idiot. Okay so she is coming over here. She laughed at me, then took the magnifying glass, and burned it in half. We got a piece of paper out, and tried to write on it. Then I caught it on fire. When I gave it to her, she tried, and we got it blazing. Ahhhh that was fun. I cut it in half, and gave her some of it, because I feel like it's one of those stupid things worth remembering, and laughing at when you see it. I still laugh everytime I see the mutilated doll.

My dad took me out, and we got some junk food, and I got a pen to replace the one I used up writing Bairs project. I feel like I did something else... Oh. I got a new bandana. It's black. Heh... I like black. I had a lesson earlier tonight. Didn't really do anything. Tried to learn the Eruption solo. Not. When I got home, I turned on all my jimi hendrix and just started playing. It was another one of those breakthrough moments. It was pretty awesome. And now.... I've had too much time to think. I can't stay mad long enough to not miss you. I'm having withdrawl. And it's horrible. Gah... I don't know. I feel like I should just go to bed. Tomorrows friday. I'm going to the recital, then maybe I can do something. Or maybe before. Hey Ben, I don't know how often you read this, but do you want to try and do something soon. I'm leaving for camp like a week after our school gets out. And I'll be gone for three.

Oh... I got two new CD's too, thanks to Gu. Something Corporate: North, and Jacks Mannequin: Everything in Transit.

Good stuff.



"actually I probably woulda accidentally set the school on fire."
"hahah, I woulda tried."

"This one will be a 30 second job." Coach
"That's what she said."
"WHAT FICHTER!?"

"BKBL"
"....?"
"Being killed by Loughran."

It's Funny

How looking at an old CD you made for someone can make all the memories come flooding back...

Mmm

Hello allowed readers. It was a pretty rough day. That history SOL had some stupid questions on it. So no. No one got a perfect. Which sucks. It was so fuckign easy...except for like 4 stupid questions. I wanted to go out and get dinner. Mmm.. You know, I have some really amazing friends. I don't have much more to say...other than....thanks Lizzy. I'm going to make some brownies...cause I want some.

Fuck This.

I'm tired of all this. Leave me the fuck alone if you're just going to be mean. Loughran wouldn't let me drop the 2 mile. I knew it would hurt, I knew I wouln't score any points, and I knew I'd be screwed when I was finished. And it hurts. It's hard to walk right now, becuase I've been limping on my right leg so long, it's starting to ache. I've got so much homework to do tonight, and I don't even care. I just want to sleep. Sleep, sleep sleep. I ran my phone out of battery talking to people, becuase I really needed help. And when no one really could, and I'd pretty much given up on the idea of help. I got off the bus and Lauren started talking to me. She made it seem so simple. I... I wish it were that simple. It's odd how she instantly understood. I wouldn't expect that from her, not that she's shallow or anything, but... I don't know. Anyway. Thanks Shroades, thanks Lauren.

Side note. Never say that to me again.

All right, well I'm going to take a shower, and go to bed, and skip first block, because we got back at like 11:20. I... Lizzy, you better feel pretty powerful right now. I owe you one. ~sticks pinky out~

Have I Ever Told You

How much I really really hate biology. No? Well I really really hate biology. Mmk great. Only 11 more freaking pages.

Well

That was fucking terrifying. Oh. My. God. Hillandale. Night. Bad. End of story. I... I think I'm going to bed now. Geesh.

Damnit!

Good job Zach!

Great job!

Todays Hightlights

Not going camping. :)


Got a cell phone. :D
with lots o' texts.

thanks mom!

Tired of Being at School Already

All right. Time to go home. I took my practice SOL. I'm done. Too bad I have biology crap to do. I'm going to be working on the stupid project all afternoon. Oh crap. I forgot to tell my dad I have track today. Damnit. Ugh! Now I will be working on it all freaking night! Because now I'm wasting 2 hours, because I'm gonna ask Storie if there is anyway I can run on Monday, and she's gonna say something like don't run today or something. Maybe I could get some more work done? Maybe. I've got 2 more phyla, and like 8 classes. I'm gonna go call my dad. Okay. Well damn. I have so much work to do tonight. No Latin though. At least it's friday. I wonder.... I really really should go tonight. But I have soooo much homework to do. Maybe I can work really really really hard and get this done. No. I can't get it done in 2 hours. Wait...is it this week or next? I feel like it's next week, but everyone says it's tonight. Mmmmph. Stupid biology. I've been working on this since Tuesday, and I'm still no where near. Gah. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. This keyboard sucks. I kinda just want to complain right now. These pants! Ack! The pockets are so small! I hate small pockets. Mmmm random quote. "Why do you think your parents get mad at you when you don't call or come home late?" "Cause they're drunk!" "No Charles no! It's supposed to be because they love you!" Yeah... I wonder about him.

I've got 12 minutes of class left. 12 minutes to relax. Maybe I don't have time to right though? Healy's talking. Yeah, he told us to log out. Nevermind. Now I've got to go. I'm tired of today. Maybe it'll get better. Just got to wait till 7. Then It'll be better. But how am I supposed to finish in 2 hours. It doens't matter. I need to go to this. I'll draw pictures this weekend if I have to. I'm going. Bye.

I feel like putting lyrics down.....

nope.

School SUCKS.

Humph.

This was just one of those days. It was from the moment I woke up. But wanna know the good thing? I'm not inherently depressed anymore. And it goes away a lot faster than it used to. I'm kinda pissed off that I was recording a song (I really wasn't) and I went to hit the stop button, and it started the recording process. I'm too aggravated to try again really. I've got a decent recording of it, but the quality sucks. Whatever. Ms. Storie tore me up again today. Mmmph. I probably do deserve it. I'm really hoping I get better before districts. But if I don't....it's stupid to run like I am. I doubt it'll heal as fast because it's a joint and tendon, not a muscle. Whatever. I've got to do this stupid biology project. And I don't feel like blogging anymore. : \

Night.

Track Meet

Sucked. My hips really bad. I don't drop races, and I decided to drop the 2 mile. : \
But I get a medal for the 4x800. Which isn't bad. And without even really thinking about it I ran a 2:20. Meh. Rest of the day was up and down. I don't really care. But my hip hurts so bad...... And I'm so tired of icing, it's all I've done all day. Sigh. Night.

Out Of Nowhere

Hmm... wow thanks Faith. That was a really good call on your part. Thanks Quentin too. Thanks a lot of people today. Thanks Loughran, and David, thanks Ellen, thanks Healy. So many people just today. Can't name em all. One intersting day.

Goodnight.

Damnit

I have to go camping this weekend. I really, really, really don't want to go, and I really really really don't have time. Can I just have one weekend to myself?? I've gone to a track meet every weekend for the past month, and few weeks. I'm tired of going places. And I have this stupid biology project that I need to do, but I'll be busy this week with city county, and preparation for districts. And worst of all. I really really need to talk to people right now. And I'm going to be all alone. I'm going to have to sit with my thoughts for the weekend. I need to clear some things up by Friday, or this will be the weekend from hell. Gah.

And All It Did Was Rain

Hmmm... nothing special today really. My wrist is bruised, and I think that's kinda funny. I got it on the way to third. I doubt anyone knows why. It was a good block really. Some jackass ran into me at the end of the day. And I got really mad for a second. Mmm helped out with the track meet today. Going to mr. j's tomorrow for Latin. Found a new good song. Rain by 40 Below Summer. Good to me anyway. Whaaatever. I should be doing my non-existant homework.

Good night..

You Know Who I'm Talking To

Tory. Whatever you think. I didn't mean those lyrics in a mean way. I used to smile at them, because you said they were your lyrics. And right after I got done talking to David, the song came on the radio. So I put it at the end of my blog post. Take it how you please. But that's now how I meant it.

Good night.

Well

I ran out of phone numbers to call. And I resorted to looking in the phonebook of my phone which has numbers I got in 8th and 9th grade. A lot of good that did me. Until I got near the top. I saw a number, and I was like. What?! I have her number? Since when! Well, I called her, and hte first time she didn't pick up. So I was like damnit, that was the last one I had. I tried calling her one more time, just to be safe. And I got a call about 20 minutes later. She asked if I had tried to call. "You sound upset" she said. Yeah... I kind of am. Wanna take a walk? She had AP Bio to finish at school, but she said she'd love to. It was a really good walk. We took the dog, and headed back to her house, because it was probably a 2 mile walk. It was a really really good conversation. The walk back wasn't so great, because once I'd hit three miles I just wanted to be home. So I started running, but my dog's out of shape like crazy. So she couldn't keep up. I ended up nearly dragging her the last half mile. When I got home. I decided I wanted to work some things out. Well... I'm not going into details. But they got worked out, and I was pleasantly surprised. And I know you don't read this. But I want to say thanks. Hah... I even got a number on the third line of our conversation when I haven't talked to him since....8th grade. Mmm.... well I'm feeling pretty good, from talking to him, and listneing to his advice. Time to go eat. Buh-bye.

Cold hard bitch, just a kiss on the lips, and I was on my knees.

Hey All

All right.... my blog has become problematic. It's a place where I can get my thoughts out to people. But it doens't always go to the right people. I was really considering just deleting it. But now I'm thinking I'm just going to make it private. I'll do it in a week or so. But if anyone wants to be allowed to read it, send me your email. Fichtezc@gmail.com And even if I decide not to do it, next time I want to, I'll still have all the names and emails on a list. So if you want to be allowed to read it, send me a message. I'll probably let anyone who asks read, but there are the unknown people that worry me. I'd just like to know exactly who can be reading it at any one time. Now I'm going to try and see if I can find anyone who'll pick up their phone. I'm pretty much out of ideas.

If What I Think

Just happened, just happened. That's really really annoying. Makes me feel kinda worthless. Gah. I'm just going to go take a shower, and listen to music really loud.

Mmm

Thanks Lizzy.

VMI

Hmmm... the meet could have gone better. I ended up with a 5:01....I swear it was a 5:00 though. But the nerds don't lie. The rest of the meet was the same as usual. Except I'm pretty sure I tore a muscle in my shoulder. Andy and I walked down to some gas station and got food. Bus ride home was kinda weird. We got Chinese.

Anyway, I told you I hate going to track meets like this. It sucked. And worst.... the one thing I'd been holding onto, that I still had. Is gone now. I thought for once, I actually had something that made me special above other people. No. That goes to someone else now. This weekend.... has sucked. Except for Friday afternoon. Then it just went downhill. It hurt to be ignored, and blown off when I really needed to talk to someone. And now it's happening again. For the same person that has everything else I used to have now. Why. Why, why why. Why does this happen. I wish for once someone could throw everything down to help me, because I've been trying. I've been fucking trying! And when I need help, no one will. No one picks up their phone, or responds to texts or IM's. Half of them probably just didn't have their phone, but when I'm at that level, I don't always rationalize. ~sigh~ I'm just going to go to bed.

Wake up, I'm pounding on the door.....

Anyone

Out there willing to talk to me late at night when I can't sleep?

...

Play was really good. But ouch.... I hate going to meets feeling like this, because all it does is build up, and get worse because I'm as far from the people I want to talk to as I can be. Except Andy. 7:30am-10pm. Great I'm running one event that'll take me less than 6 minutes to run, and less than an hour to prepare for, run, and cool down. But I'm gone for like 14 hours. Mah. Whatever. This is one of those times I wish I had a phone though. I can ask people for a phone to call home, because that takes like 1:30, but... I don't know. Maybe it's good to get away from people, but not after stuff like this. It's not even anything, but being confined with something small for 14 hours, can make it something awfully big. Once again, I wish I had a phone. Mah... too expensive anyway. I'd rahter have guitar strings. I really tried to lay down and sleep, but I just can't. My mind's not really settled. I tried playing music, then I did it louder, but i couldn't relax enough to sleep. You know this is probably absolutely nothing. But I have no one to talk to, and I can't do anything about it, and I won't be able to till sunday. I kinda wish someone was on. Figures. This has happened a lot recently. I promise I'll try and sleep, it's pointless to go to this meet, and suck because I didn't sleep well. I'd sleep on the bus or at the meet if someone wouldn't fuck with me. I've been kinda traumatized since I woke up at William and Mary with a note on my chest saying thanks for the fun Bry Bry. Just.... ugh. I know they'd leave me alone now... but I doubt I could sleep. I'll get decent sleep I guess. It wouldn't be that hard to sleep on the bus. Maybe I could get my own seat. No...there are 3 people per event. It'll be cramped.

Damnit, I still have to pack. what do I really need? Water, I'll wear my uniform. I won't need sweats. Maybe extra socks, some money, my ipod, longer shorts. Not much... damn.... my bags at school. Well I'll wear my uniform, with the shorts, and extra shirt, and I'll carry socks, and water, and.... damn I have a lot. Shoulda went and got my bag tonight. Whoops. I'm tired enough to sleep. My body's aching for sleep. I've been up late a lot recently. But my minds too....jarred. Jarred over nothing! This is what happens when I don't sleep. Mmm... I want some more milk. Then I just might head to bed. No one else is gonna talk to me anyway. They're all either sleeping, or off doing something with people. Ugh... my ears hurt again. And it's not actually a hurt. They itch.

Ugh.... I'm just going to go to bed. Maybe I'll get lucky and see an IM window pop up.

Night

didn't even say good night. ~sigh~

Guess

Who's stuck at school still? ZACH! But at least I don't have track today. I don't know what to do with my self. Oh wait!! I got the 3rd chronicals of riddick movie. I'll watch that. If I can find it. This key board SUCKS! Ugh! Maybe I'm just spolied with a laptop though. Maybe. I kinda want to change my title back. Because Black Sabbath is just my title. Yeah...I'll do that when I have the right to do it. Damn school computers. I can barely blog. Mmm.... the twilight zone is awesome. But I can't really focus on it today. Only 12 more minutes of school! Woo!! I really don't have anything to say. It's been a relatively good day. It's friday. I get to go to the play tonight. VMI's tomorrow though. Ugh.... we leave at 7:30, and get back at like 10. But you know... I have Andy to hang out with, so it'll at leeast be barable (sp) It would suck if I was trapped at VMI for like 15 hours, with no friends. I could always laugh at Jarrad. Hah.... I run at 1:45. That's gonna suck. Hottest part of the day. Well... Hayden and Andy are in it too. So we'll deal. I really REALLY want to beat Hayden in a race. Yeah my PR top's his....but the only race we've ever raced he beat me. It's really good competetion though. I couldn't have pulled off a 5:08 without him. But I did manage to get a 5:00 by my self. Lets try and break 5 tomorrow shall we? I only have 3 more meets. And I'm most likely running the two mile in one of them. 5:50...then a....5:30? Hah....that'd be beastly. 11:20 would be a 17 second PR. Well I got a 32 in the mile, and a 2 second in the 400. Hmm. Coach just walked in. And out. Weird. Not as weird as Knapp though. Dude. He is agent smith. No way around it. Gah. TIme to pack up. I just settled in.

Bye

Another

But I'm really really tired, cause I was up till 12:30 talking to someone, and then I just couldn't sleep. School was okay. But it got good at the end. Track was good. My lesson was awesome... but I'm sooooo tired...but I have to do bio and history.... ugh....

And Another

Really good day. The track meet was kinda boring, cause I got cheated out of the 4x800 since we were the only runners. But school was pretty good. I don't have much to say. Lifes good. Deal with it ; )

Ahaha

I win. And I'm giggling like a fucking idiot. Hahhaahah. I'm soooo happy! : D

Night!

Nope. Didn't go downhill. That;s a good sign.

Mmm

Another good day. Maybe about to go down hill? No.