Music Soothes The Soul.

It really does. I just spent the last, 4ish hours jamming with my guitar godfather. He's so good, he can make any of the things I play average sound amazing. I played his 1980's Les Paul through the most vintage tube amp you can get. He soloed over any song I could play, and then he played blues progessions and I soloed over them. We got to a point where we were just playing music, and there wasn't anything else, just music. Anyway, that brought my day to the very peak of it's greatness, seeing as it started off horrible. Great times. Still not in a writing mood. I'm in a writing mood.

Writers Block, To a Degree

I've have a horrible writers block right now, except it's not literary. I can't write music. I figured out very early that you can't force writing music, it has to come. But I sure tried to force it today, and guess what? Didn't work. All I could do was play my old ones and what ever I tried to make new was so similar to something I'd written already, or something someone else had. I know the sound I'm looking for, I know what I want to write, but it's not comming to my fingers. It's been so long since I've written a song. Yeah, I've rearranged old ones, or added to them, but at the moment, I only have 5 or so that I like, and that I can remember. Two of them are heavily distorted, one is lightly distorted, one is acoustic, and another is toned down electric. I've got a few more, but I can't really call them songs, or will ever do anything more with them. I think it's mostly because I'm uninspired. None of the stuff I've written in the first place was ever really that good, but it looks even worse now. Eh, what am I to do? I write music when I'm in a bad mood, I write music when I'm up set, I write music when I'm angry. I write music. That's what I do. Maybe, internally, I'm unsatisfied with my songs because they don't have lyrics. Maybe I need to write some lyrics, then I'll finally be satisfied and I'll be able to move on. I'll figure something out for the night, maybe I can get away with just playing music.

I'm still really cold. I came down this morning, and it was in the low 60's inside. Not bad, but I hadn't slept well, and I was still cold from last night. I figured I'd start a fire, and that warmed the house up a bit, but now that that has died down, I've started shivering again. I have a thick blanket, and long pants and a sweatshirt, but I'm fighting to keep warm. Hah, the fact that I have a root beer float can't be helping. But I'm feeling sullen, and I thought that might help. Alas. Is it really 8:19? This day seems to have, well been longer than usual. All day it felt slow and long and boring, and then now, it's like it all happened in an hour. What is so... anti social about me that, I am probably the only person sitting in front of his computer at 8 at night, all by him self, talking to the computer screen. Most of the people I know are off having fun with each other. Ack, it's most likely my fault, so I'll take what comes. Doesn't mean I have to like it of course, but I figure I shouldn't complain. I wish Chu would at least get on so we could talk. We seem to have some things to work out, I feel sort of bad for some of the things he said he felt. Because most of them are because of me, or... yeah. Ack.

I think, for the first time ever, I'm going to make a new years resolution. I don't know what it will be, I haven't thought that far ahead. I figure it will be something about snatching the chances flung in my face, or something about being less stubborn. Or, I could just not, like every year. It might be good to do one for a change though. I wonder what I'll be doing on new years eve. Will it be downtown at first night, or will I be sitting alone inside, or might I be out on my own somewhere. First night looks promising, but I'm not sure I want to be around that many people. Last year, I vividly remember seeing Buddy for the second time, and then I remember talking to Jojo, and then.... I remember the hot cider and chocolate. Thrash metal band Lost at Sea, and very warm trash can fires. The cold, and drunk people. The fire works show, same as always, the free warm food from TLG. Mmmm, sounds very promising. I'm not sure who'll be there, I might end up being slightly alone. I'm never really alone, I have my self, and I have my parents.

I'm feeling, incomplete right now. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the lack of music, maybe it's the fact I'm alone, or maybe it's just I hadn't spoken all day until 7:30 this afternoon. There are so many maybes. Maybe things would be different if I weren't... I'm looking for a word... if I weren't... howabout... cautious. Maybe if I weren't so cautious, things would be different. Maybe if I gave up reason every once in a while things would be different. Maybe if I tried to interact with people, things would be different. Maybe this, maybe that. I could maybe all night. What can I say for certian you ask? Nothing, I know nothing for sure right now. I don't even have an unstable something. If I had to say something for sure, I'd say I'm unstable, at best. I don't want help from anyone though, I don't want to "talk about it." If anyone wants to help, you could just sit with me, sit near me, be a presence. Talk on the phone beside me, chat on AIM near me, blog by me, read across from me, something, just be a presence. That's what would really help. Of course, you don't want to really help. I wouldn't want to help me, why would you want to. Wait wait wait, do I even need help. Is this something to help, or is it something to let run it's course. It can't last forever, nothing lasts. Well, how would I know if anything lasted. I haven't lived long enough for anything to last. What defines forever, a life time? A long time? Two life time? A century? Forever, as in the dawn of time to the last second of light. :sigh: I can't see my keyboard, and I don't want to turn a light on. Too much effort to type.
Night

I Dun Wrote Me A New Song

And it's pretty cool too. But none of you will ever here it, so, blah!

Progressions

I've just realized how fast I really progressed with guitar. I've hit exactly a year I believe since I first picked up my moms classical guitar. In about two months, I'll have had an electric for a year. I think I should count that as my beginning, because quite frankly, I still can't play that classical guitar. I mean, I'm still no where close to being considered good, even though, I will admit, I'm better. When I look back before I had my strat, I even learned fast then.
1. Smoke on the Water (with one string)
2. Real Smoke on the Water
3. Iron Man
4. Crazy Train bass line
5. Crazy Train
6. Hells Bells
7. Don't Fear the Reaper
8. Stairwat to Heaven

Wow, quite a few jumps in there. When I think about it. Damn. Smoke on the Water, Ok a good beginners song, Iron Man, same. But Crazy Train? After a week? Well, and then hells bells after 2? And hey, Stairway after 4? Too bad it's getting really, really hard to improve. The hardest songs I can play are probably...... I don't know, some Zeppelin, or Eric Clapton stuff. I tend to stick to easier things like Classic Rock. The next step seems to be harder soloing than just pentatonic scales and blues scales. Or maybe, just... learning to write better music. I've probably written some 20 songs, but none of them are very good, so that would definately be a place to go. I get a little discouraged when I finally figure something out, and then I listen to it, and I realize, I'm disgracing the song to even try. I must have played I Fell Inside 70 times before I was like, OK, i figure I would be ok playing this in public. I'm going to try to record every song I know on this post, just so I have a place that I can see what I've stopped playing. Well, let's start with the recent ones.

All Around Me, Breathe Today, Cassie, Snowblind, Iron man, War Pigs, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Paranoid, N.I.B, Into the Void, Spiral Architect, Dirty Women, Warning, The Wizard, Sweet Leaf, Hells Bells, What do you do for Money Honey, TNT, Thunderstruck, You Shook Me All Night Long, Back in Black, Who Are You, Baba O'riley, Pinball Wizard, I Hate Everything About You, Home, Time of Dying, Animal I have Become, Wonderwall, Layla, Layla, Further on up the Road, Cocaine, American Idiot, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Holiday, Wake me up When September Ends, Kryptonite, I Fell Inside, In Bloom, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Blue Orchid, Hello Operator, Hotel Yorba, Apple Blossom, Death Letter, The Hardest Button to Button, Seven Nation Army, Black Math, In the Cold Cold Night, Jolene, Do, When I Hear My Name, Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, Fell In Love With a Girl, Walking With a Ghost, Dream On, Up On Cripple Creak, Sunshine of your Love, All Along the Watchtower, Good Times Bad Times, Dazed and Confused, Immigrant Somg, Communication Breakdown, Stairway to Heaven, Heartbreaker, Sweet Home Alabama, Dissaray, Crazy Train, Fallen Angel, Steady as She Goes, Store Bought Bones, Californication, Dani California, Snow (Hey Oh), Tell Me Baby, We Believe, Rock You Like A Hurricane, No One Like You, Big City Nights, Rhythm of Love, Send me and Angel, Meant to Live, Roundabout, Sing You to Sleep (Road Lullaby), Don't Fear The Reaper, Accidently In Love, Free Fallin', St. Jimmy, City of the Damned, I Don't Care, Purple Haze, White Room|1|

There, that's like 300 words so.... 100 songs? I think, and I know it's not all of them. I'll keep adding them, so check back if you really want to know. I'll put a |no.| at the end of every section.

Night

Break Through.

I just had a major break through with my new guitar. I love when that happens. I was messing around with feedback, and letting notes run until they start to give off a high pitched scream. Hmm I thought, why not hit double bends and let them ring and push my guitar against my amp. Hah, there’s some screaming for ya. Well, that was amazing, I’ll be making a lot more noise now.

Yeah, I went to the rifle range today. It was pretty nice, we were alone for a little bit, and then a couple of other people came. For the most part the noise wasn’t too bad; there was only one hunter there. I shot about 115 rounds out of my new 92 and that’s all I really needed, I couldn’t hit anything anyway. At 100 yards I was consistently hitting within a few cm to the right of this damn Osage orange. There was a huge gash in the dirt beside it and I found some 10 bullets in perfect condition lodged with in crawling distance for a single celled organism of the thing. Oh well, it was fun.

Oh, and it does look like I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend by my self, alone, in my house. Oh well.

Hark! The Hearld Angels Sing

All right, I just got my guitar. It sounds like the word of God. I' m serious, it sounds better than anything I have ever heard, on my little practice amp. Get me a performance one, and I'll blow your mind. The finish is flawless, the bird enlays are beautiful, the pickups are so clear and powerful. I Love This Guitar.

Epiphone

Hah! To all you people who have made fun of me calling Epiphone "Epif-pho-knee" I was right. Look it up. It's not "epi-phone" it's "Epif-pho-knee!"