Good Day

Yeah, kinda funny to hear eh? It was bloody long though. And I ate a bad lunch, and proceeded to run a work out. But through that little bit of aggravation, it was pretty good. My ears are ringing from playing guitar. I doubt that's a good thing. Well, I encoded a bunch of music today, which was cool. It took me forever to find a recorded copy of Rescued though. But I got one.
Hmm... study for history time?

As an air sign you should really notice the Air Trine today, as something that you might have regarded as a dismal failure recently becomes all the more achievable. The only block to a fabulous day is an inclination to wear rose colored specs when it comes to someone’s attitude!

I just

Got a facebook. Shoot me. Tell me I'm dreaming.

Taking A Break

You know what's weird. I'm actually starting to like summer. I've never liked summer. But today, I actually felt good being out in the warm sun. I'll always prefer the cold, but warmth was nice for once. I went out to lunch with Abby today. That was good. Now I'm doing homework. I just wanted to take a little break. Gah.... hopefully only 5 more weeks. Please let it be only 5 more weeks.

Avenger

You, my friend, never cease to amaze me. I still wonder what first compelled me to request you as my friend back when I had a myspace, and to continue that by messaging you every night. Until eventually, you gave me your screen name. I still hadn't talked to you in person, I'd only caught glimpses of you. But as it turned out, I had tried out for the musical probably 2 weeks prior to discovering your myspace. And the next morning, the cast list for Seussical the Musical was to be realeased. I came to school early, looking to see if I could find my name anywhere on that list. I remember I was going to sit out in the cafeteria and read my book, which at the time happened to be Sabriel. As it turned out, when I made it to the music hallway a few other people were sleepily staring at the sheet, including her. I worked my way up to look at the sheet, and hey, look at that "Whoville: Zach Fichter-" "That's a really good book, you know?"
"Uh... oh yeah, Sabriel? It is really good." Hmmm I thought... hey that was her! Wow... she likes Sabriel too. We continued to casually message back and forth, until rehearsals started. I'm not sure how it progressed from there, but it did rather quickly. Until I went to see her right when rehearsal started, and took every opportunity I could to talk to her. I began to trust her more and more, and she quickly became one of my closest friends. One day, I was having troubles with another one of my very close, more than friends. And I really needed someone to talk to. Mmm...she's on. Maybe she can just make me feel better. We started talking, and I began listening to her advice, and I began to trust it more and more. Because it was always down to earth, and it was always a nice call to reality. And time and time again, when I've really needed that down to earth advice, she's come through for me. And once again, tonight, when I really needed some reassurance that there really was more than what I see, I saw that screen name pop up for the first time in weeks. And once again, you came through for me. And for that, I thank you, my friend. I love you too.

And I'm Feeling

Slightly better. Part of that I owe Chu for. So thanks Chu. But I'm feeling better. And I'm not done yet. Now listen well, as a tale I tell of a night I shook with fear....


Damn. The Hills Have Eyes is kinda creepy. I mean really. Haha.

I'm Tired

Of sitting here alone listening to music. But I really really really am tired of doing yard work. That depresses me more than sitting here. I wish I could drive. I'd go drive around the county back roads until I felt better. I sort of feel like running, but it's so humid out there, I feel like it'd be uncomfortable, and I really don't want to run alone anyway. Guitar's still not really doing anything for me. If anything, it makes me more upset now. I'm not in one of those outside moods but I need to get out. I don't want to be around people, but I need someone. The last place I want to be is in public, but I feel like I need to be out. I don't have a target anymore, because mine has so many holes in the center, there's no longer enough foam to stop the arrows. I can't find my book, because I haven't read it in over a month. I'm not sure what else there is to do. I really want to go to the park, but I know that's a bad idea. Too many memories. I'm kind of hungry, but nothing really looks appealing, and I don't really feel like making anything either.

I'm a horrible wreck right now aren't I? Haha... it's pretty pathetic. My horoscope for the day sucks. Because it's completely contradictory from my one yesterday. And the one from yesterday? I could have used that advice about an hour earlier : \ I need to find something to occupy my time. Like being in a band, or building a guitar or something. I wonder if anythings going on around town tonight. Moneypenny's in Arlington. That's one hell of a drive, and I have to be 21 to get in anyway. Hmmm it's 65 degrees and cloudy. Wonderful. I should have gone out with my dad to the rifle range, but I was afriad of being isolated out there feeling like this. Well, I'm isolated, and I feel like this anyway, might as well be shooting the hell out of stuff. No one updates their blog much anymore. It's probably because of school, or stuff like that. I rarely have anything important to say. But I occasionally still get good posts in. Maybe I'm doing just the same as everyone else. Hell I don't even read those short post's I write.

I really wish I wanted to do something. Well I do want to do something. But that something isn't going to happen. So I wish I wanted to do something that can be done. Because I really don't. I'm trying to avoid a lot of my music, but I... I don't know. I don't want to avoid it. I... I like the new title of this blog... but it's not right... something about it just isn't. But I'm tired of the title Black Sabbath, and Sink Like A Led Zeppelin. My original title was Don't Fear The Reaper, and at one point I had Defying Gravity. But.... now I'm not sure what I want. I'm not tired of the black, but I want a change. But there isn't anything I want more than black. Not white, I don't feel very white right now. Not red, or blue, or that annoying bubble lay out. Meh. I'd do psychedelic colors if I could find them. On second thought. No I wouldn't. I'm not really in that mood either : \

How did all of this turn around in 4 months. We completely switched places. And well... I figure it'll stay that way for a long time. Longer than I'm willing to accept. It's only Saturday right? Good...because I'm not ready to go back to school. Damnit. I have homework.... I'll ask dad to help me with the stupid biology. I can do the history pretty easily. I feel like I have a Latin test... I should study for that... God I don't want to do any of that. I don't want to do much of anything, but talk to someone.... I don't want to deal with people right now. I get aggravated with my dog when she licks me, or with my mom when she comes in and trys to talk to me. But now I've got to get off line, because it's making me more depressed she says. I can't get much more depressed anyway.

Bye.

Hah...

that's two 11:11's in a row....

There's Oceans In Between Us, But That's Not Very Far

I'm not sure how long it took me to sleep....it was over an hour, because that's how long I set my ipod timer for. It was probably closer to two, because I know I started hearing repeats of songs that I'd first started with. But I was pretty far gone, even if I was still awake. When I woke up, I was like...hey...the house is empty. Eh...whatever. I turned on my computer, and no one had left me any messages. Figures... I had a pretty depressing message up, although I did have a comment from Nat which was nice. I decided I wanted some new music, so a few of the songs I've always liked, but I never had I went ahead and downloaded. I took a nice long hot shower, until I wasn't really sure where I was, then I got shocked by a burst of cold water, and decided it was tiem to get out. There was no one to talk to online, which I guess I didn't really want to do anyway. I only wanted to talk to one person. Well, they weren't on, and I knew we wouldn't talk if they were on, so I went and picked up my guitar. It didn't really do anything for me for the first time in a long time. I kept playing just for the hell of it...but really it didn't make me feel any better.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do today. I need to do something, but I don't feel like going out in public. Rachel and Sean are coming to pick me up sometime, and we're going to go to the park, or TDG or something. That'll be nice. If I can just get my mind off this for a few hours. Ugh, my dog got out. I have to go find her. Bye.

Cause I'm Broken...

Well, today was another day from hell. I went as far as to decide I need someone. Yeah, it takes a lot for me to do that. She helped me enough that I could go to track with out snapping at someone.
Track actually made my day. Shocking eh? Andy, Anthony and I ran to hillendale and ran all the new biking trails while singing weird al and all this stuff at the top of our lungs. It was relieving. But when I got home everything collapsed. I refuse to put any details, mainly because I'd choose not to relive them, and also because it's just too personal. But it was awful... and I....it's hard to explain. Forget it. I.... I crashed from there, and slowly went down hill. I called a bunch of people, and no one answered. I finally reached Camila... and we just talked about it for a while. It made me feel better, but it's one of those hopeless hurts. I met Camila and William at a concert later in the night, and they really cheered me up....

But now....I'm sitting here, and tears are staining my cheeks, and I feel all alone again. I finally managed to say goodbye under peaceful terms. I guess we had our run. I just wish we could have another. Hey....it's 11:11.....Making a wish.... I... I still have all the amazing memories from our past year and half.... If only they didn't hurt so bad..... I just lost a best friend and everything more....

Crying my self to sleep, and listening to all the old songs....

Done!

WOO! I finished my biology homework! Woo!! Bed time! Woo!!

So, this weekend, I'm going to take this song, that has awesome lyrics, but awful music, and attempt to actually rewrite something I like. Good idea? It's not a mainstream song. Hell, it's taken me almost a week to find an MP3 of it. And it's from an EP from 01. No wonder.

Damn

Well, I've been working non stop. And I still have bio and history to do. Oh joy!

oh and yeah....

"I always have something to say"

Random Thoughts For The Day

School sucked today, as usual. I had to come back, and get everything I missed for the trip. : \
But it ended soon enough. I remembered right when I went to track that I had track practice. God are you trying to run into me? And I was like, oh yeah, I get out of here early. We did a bunch of warming up and stretching, which really helped all my pains I got yesterday. Ugh... I wonder if I exist sometimes. Or is this generation just blind? Coach was like, okay guys, do whatever you think you need to do. I was like...hmmm my arms give out every race. Let's go lift. So I did a hell of a lot of reps. And then I did bench reps. One set of 15 at 50lbs and then one set of 25 at 60lbs, and then 7 at 60, because my arms gave out, because I'd been doing other stuff before that. Ugh. I have to go to homework.

I...Hmmm. Meh!

no quote. I don't think I had ears today.

I Just Realized

My greatest supporting factor is gone. I'll find new support. But it still sucks...

Hey Rach

We need to talk or hang out or something. I haven't seen you in like 2 weeks.

It's Been

Mostly a pretty awful day. I got my escape to Stanton today and got to miss my 2nd and 3rd blocks which was nice. And being around William and Isa and Annie really cheered me up. But on the way back, I was like... damnit, I'm going back to school. I don't want to go back. So I tried to enjoy the rest of the bus ride, but it was hard. Nipe asked if I was leaving, and I was like nah, I'm just going to get my stuff and walk around. So I did that for the rest of school. Track meet.... track meet. It started off awful. Then I talked to Camila which was really nice. And then I talked to Tim which made me forget a little bit of the day. I felt confined in the school so I went out and sat on the ledge, and started to tan. Yeah shut up, I'm trying to get rid of this awful farmers tan. I was laying out with my bandanna over my eyes, and Maria came and smacked me on the head. She's a weird one. But I felt like she would help put me in a good mood, so I walked up with her to the track.

She didn't want to vault, so I had to convince her to, and of course, she wasn't ready to vault. But she's in 8th grade. I talked to the coach, and if I can find time, I'll be able to vault. Mmm... I helped the vaulters for a little bit, and then I went to warm up for my mile. The mile it self was good. Bair was timing for me, so I felt like I had to do better. I was in 5th the whole time until I hit 1100 meters and Hayden came up on me. I raced him for 400 more meters, and we caught two people but it turned out he had faster longer strides than me. I ran a 5:07 by Jefferson's clock. Eh, it's okay. But Hayden patted me on the back after and was like good race man, and I was like oh yeah. And right before I did my 400 he patted my back and was like good luck. Heh... I won his respect. I started thinking...damnit... I have to run a 4x400 in like 45 minutes. I tried to gulp down as much water as I could. Hah... like 10 minutes before it was time to race, then sun was blocked by clouds and a nasty wind picked up and brought really cold air with it.

Ugh... Our race was going really good. Ben had us in first, and I was like YEAH!! Then Z fought to keep us right on fort's tail, and Michael got it, and he started to get further back, but he was still within 10 meters, and when I was lining up, I looked over, and I saw Alonso. I was like.. Oh god. Fuck. I have to race Alonso. I thought about just walking it. I really did. I got the baton and took off, and I hung on Alonso for a little, then he just gained and gained and gained. It was a lost cause. When I whipped around the 200 I got nailed in the face with wind, and I was trying to just push through it. But I was so pissed when I hit 300. The wind died. Right then. It died. It didn't push me like I'd been hoping so I could recover. It just died. I was like, now I'm left with no energy, and I have 100 meters left. But I looked over, and Shroades and Hayden were like YEAH!! RUN FICHTER!! and I was like. Oh...okay... I guess I can kinda do it. I ended up with a 60.2 and I know that would have been faster with out the wind. I know it. Even Loughran said it would be. But he also said I'm running 4x400 next wednesday. Fuuuck no.

Oh. I saw Aaron today. WOO!! and Jefferson. WOO!!!! and Tom. WOO!!!!

"Nice race man."