Ugh

Why did I have to be so blind. Am I just that dense? No, I'm not, I'm just that stupid. Oh, I saw it, don't get me wrong, I just didn't believe. Fool. Aha, I do believe I've found a new years resolution. Two words. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. You fool. Those people back an age ago, those ones that spoke latin, yeah they had it right. Seize the bloody Day. I don't even know what to do. I think I'm getting sick. I can't decide if I'm hot or cold. Right now, at this very moment, I have my window open, and I have no shirt on, and I'm sweating. About ten minutes ago I was under a blanket with a heater on beside me and I was shaking for dear life. And now, now I just don't know what to do. Sleep would be good, oh don't I know sleep would help. I don't want to sleep, and I doubt I could. Now the question becomes would I rather lay in bed, eagerly awaiting sleep, or read. Or maybe, sit here online, I'm not the only one who can't sleep. There are surprisingly fourteen people on, not idle or away, fourteen talking or waiting for someone to talk to, as is my case. No, I don't really feel like talking to anyone, nor do I feel like talking to my self as I know I would. No, I'm not crazy, although I figure you already know that, or maybe you do think I am. Does it matter? I know I'm not. Talking to my self, voicing things rather sets them in place, gives me a chance to look at them from every angle. Too bad things have already been said, as I know I'll regret them later on. Ah, whats the point of regretting them, as I can do very little to change things. What comes, will come, and what comes, will be dealt with, in good time. Things may not work out the way I choose, but it's not my choice, now is it. Music seems to be a good companion. Iommi & Osbourne, White, Clapton, Page & Plant. Their music seems to tell their own personal stories. Black Sabbath for example, a band out of an industrial town, from large poor familys. Heavy metal, songs about the dark, religion, faith, hope, or lack of, and even love on occasion. I feel like I'm sharing their stories. All right, I feel like I've spilled enough for the night, you don't even want to hear this anyway.

Night Loves.